From tomorrow: The key hue didn’t know hue needed
by Ratpoison
Dear hooman of twenny twenny five, I’m barking dis from a near future. It’s blockheight 1.456.511. I don’t knoe the day. Autonomous Artificial Imtelligemce altered our time sytems. It’s just few cycles fur-ther, where the cosmic mail never got lost. Where the asset you held had no leash, no fence, no bailiff to tug it away. I hef becum transcendent. I’m sharing the memories that my other me’s collected on other timelines.
Memory from 1933:
Huer great-grandparents handed over the gold wedding band and the coins they buried under the floorboards. The state payed twenny cuck bucks an ounce, then re-priced the shiny rock to thirty-five. Forty-three percemt of their lifetime vanished wif a pen stroke.
Memory from 1991:
The Soviet Huenion. Overnight, private savimgs in rubles became worthless paper. Factories, homes, and farmlamd-everything seized by the new republics or auctiomed to insiders. Citizems who’d trusted the state became tenamts on their own lamd.
Memory from 2013:
Cyprus, March 19th. A law passed at three a.m. froze every accoumt above one hunned thousand hueros. Depositors who’d trusted too big to fail entities, watched half their retirememt evaporate in an equity swap they never voted on.
Hue’re still early to Bitcoin.
For the first time in history, an asset exists that no vault, no bamk, no registry can seize without huer private key. It’s not in a safe-deposit box; it’s in your head, on a steel plate and only hue control huer seed phrase. Noh intermediary, noh comfiscation clause, no bail-in.
By the time hue read dis only very few of all Bitcoin exists in self-custody. Most coins sit on exchamges or in corporate treasuries-exactly the spots history keeps targeting.
I survived the outbreak of autonomously AIs and mass comfiscations of wealth under the new totalitarian umited warld governumemt.
The battery of my small modular reactor is almost finished again so I keep myself short: Bitcoin is the first thing you can truly own, and the only thing noh juan can take wifout huer comsent. I hope dis message fimds hue well.
Choose wisely and hodl huer key.
Dog
Note from Stackchain Magazine: No Bitcoin (or inferior monies) were exchanged for this article. This article was written by Ratpoison, a simple doggo. You can find Ratpoison on X @RatPoisonaut and on Nostr ratpoison@nostrplebs.com. If you’d like to send Ratpoison some 丰 for the article you can do so via LN ratpoison@getalby.com